Miscellaneous

Proud to be British

In June 1995 Hugh Grant was arrested in Los Angeles while engaged in oral sex with a prostitute. ‘Hugh blows it with £15 hooker,’ as the Daily Mirror put it. The broadsheets weren’t much more subtle – the Independent went with: ‘Prostitute delivers a blow to Hugh Grant’s image’.

But this was all a long time ago, water under the bridge and so on, we have no wish to dwell on such unsavoury incidents. Except that there was one response to the story that really does deserve to be remembered. This is a letter from a British ex-pat living in France that was published in the Spectator:

Sir

I am alarmed by the moral confusion raging in the land of my birth concerning the Hugh Grant fellatio scandal.

This practice has no place in a marriage between decent people.

I myself am married to an Arabess, whose faith requires her to be very scrupulous about what she puts in her mouth. I would never even dream of suggesting that she express her affection for me in this way.

Ladies who relieve their husbands in this way are taking the bread out of the mouths of the women of King’s Cross. Well, not the bread, exactly, but I’m sure that my reasoning is clear.

For there must be compromise, and this is why whores have always existed and must be allowed to continue to exist. I myself often go down to Nice and get myself ‘blown’ in the toilets of a tango-hall there. I am slightly ashamed of this, but I don’t mind admitting it, because things like this have always been done by men of my kind; and, anyway, my wife cannot read English.

Mr Grant should go to court, elaborate the above view, plead guilty and pay his fine. He should apologise to nobody.

Tom Longlands, France

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